Yesterday was the birthday of someone dear to me. Unfortunately, I was unable to contact this person to let this person know how blessed I feel to have him in my life. I may never get a chance to tell him, I may never see him again, and I may never touch, or breath him again.
As I read some of these stories, I can't help feeling a little baffled at some of the requests that are being made. I'm confused as to the particular exchange that I have connected to. I thought that this was the love story exchange, but the continued requests for financial assistance unsettles me.
You see, as Scorpions', we are certainly not the type to confide in strangers, let alone publicly ask for assistance. We suck it up, dig in our heels and get the job, whatever and any job done. We find a way, that is our nature and it doesn't usually involve soliciting outside help.
Another thing that baffles me is the lack of faith that is so easily displayed. We are supposed to be a sign directly connected to the very roots of spirituality as well as dark, and white majic, intertwined with the healing and destructive powers of the earth, not only with physic capabilities, but with predictive vibes as well. How dare we give up on ourselves.
Considering the intense feelings (are there no other kind for the scorpion) that I'm dealing with over the apparent split with whom I considered my soulmate, I'll be the first to admit that yesterday, I had no faith. I was ready to die to escape the pain. I went to bed so empty and hurt, that I didn't think that I would see sunshine for a very long time. However, I didn't forget to pray before I slept, (even though the words were not particularly kind) I spoke to my higher power. Lo and behold as I go through my day today, some of the worthless feelings that I felt just last night, are lifted.
You see, this person came into my life at a time when I really needed something to live for. When the fabric of my life was unraveling, and everything that I thought I knew was up for revision. I was grasping, he was there, I caught on and was revised,and rebuilt to a standard higher than that of my former self. He was just what I needed at that paticular time, and I got carried away with my hopes and dreams. But who's to say that my higher power ment for this person to be my lifelong partner? In looking at and for the little signs, I may have missed the big picture. It came to me that my GOD gave me just a sliver of the love that I must aspire to give myself, the confidence to go on, and to reconnect with my ability to give and receive love. This person certainly set my soul afire and the thought of him continues to do so. Maybe it was just the little piece of paradise to confirm for me that I must go on.
Go on I will, with my eyes to the higher purpose as opposed to the paticulars. While my faith will undoubtedly waiver, my basic foundation will remain. You too must connect with your core being, unite it with your spirituality, and continue striving for what we need, as opposed to what we want. If I've learned nothing else from the various experiences in my life, the fact that we don't always get what we want, but always receive what we need, is paramount.
Scorpions', if it's ment to be, be it will, if not, it won't. The test comes in finding out which will it is.
Contact Name: Beard
Phone:
E-Mail: Beard@Essex.edu
URL: www.
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